just wait…

21 09 2018

Patience has no patience when it comes to filling what is empty.

Inward scarcity is seen as foe, not friend.

So, “Fill it up! Fill this inner void…quick!”

 

Fill it by feeding on love outside myself – love I cannot seem to give myself.

Fill it with counterfeit belonging  that melts like cotton candy in the mouth,

sweet for a time…only for a time.

Fill this painful desolation with unhealthy relationships.

Fill the emptiness with the tentative security of hard, dualistic parameters.

Fill this scary abyss with habits that will surely heal me.

Hurry, fill it with fear…at least it’s something.

 

What do we sacrifice in our haste?

What do we trade when we barter with impatience?

Addiction?

Temporal soothing?

Trading deep belonging for shallow security?

 

Maybe waiting is the healing salve?

Waiting…

even in emptiness;

even in darkness;

even in the panicked feeling of needing to fill what is a void.

Waiting for what is True – for what is authentic;

Coming to see the paradox of it all…

we are never truly empty.

 

So wait…

You are worth it.

You are loved by Love – you just are.

It will come.

You will not fall endlessly into the emptiness you fear.

 

Just wait…hold on

True Love – for self, for others, for creation – will come.

Even what seems empty can be welcomed as potential.

Just wait…

I’ll wait with you…

foggy morning

Advertisements




I wait. . .

29 01 2016

Shiprock Dike

Arid air I breath;

dry bones yearn for movement;

desert sands burn.

 

Words no longer drip from my tongue.

Words from beyond are scarce.

I wait in barren time;

I wait. . .

 

Hope is thin like thread;

still, it holds me.

 

Presence eludes me – imperceivable;

still, a secret conversation stirs within – imperceptible.

 

I close my eyes;

Breath –

a prayer forms like dew. . .

CSC_0548





Waiting…

14 12 2012

alone

“Our desire is to banish waiting time in order to get on with our life!

be productive . . .

don’t sit around . . .

don’t waste time!

 

“But what if our life can be found within the waiting?”

Waiting . . .

In the not knowing –-  ”I just want to know!” . . .

but we don’t;

In blindness — ”Please, just show me!” . . .

but we can’t see a thing;

In discontentment –- “I need to move!” . . .

but to where?

 

I am afraid of this lingering time . . .

of what I might learn about myself;

that my loneliness will be fully revealed to myself and to others;

that my inadequacies will be exposed;

my faithlessness –- will be broadcast . . .

 

What courage it takes

to circumvent the “cut-and-run” instinct –-

holding our ground in this waiting place . . .

to embrace the fear and chaos that seeks to keep us undefined:

 

and slowly –- sometimes imperceptibly –-

our awareness dawns,

and we find our spirit freer than it has been before —

settling into what once seemed desolate.

(The quote is from Daily Hope: A Winter of Reflection, A publication of reflections from Well for the Journey, Inc.)

 





Sunset’s kiss…

18 04 2012

Image

Kissed by the day’s last light…
anticipated rest…
hope – waiting for a sunrise reunion… 

This was taken last fall on the Choptank River near Easton, MD.