It’s time, isn’t it, Dear One?
To lose myself a bit more;
my created self, that is?…
It’s time to let go.
I do feel grief welling up –
another end of whom I think myself to be.
It’s hard to leave a dwelling place;
where cloaked authenticity is the norm – comfortable…
but not really real.
Ego is afraid of losing itself, right?…
of sliding into nothingness?
The fear of possibilities is stirred, is it not?
that we might not belong;
that we might be worthless;
that we might be unlovable;
that our life is only a shadow and a whisper…a vapor;
that our life might not matter;
that we might awake to find all this to be true?
So we do what we can to hang on to our manufactured selves;
unwilling to risk the letting go…
of submerging ourselves in the waters of unknowing;
of free-falling into trust;
into who we might become.
We desperately grasp onto whatever gives identity –
praise, power, possessions.
We live a surface life.
We create an alternate self –
convincing ourselves our masks are skin and bone.
Addiction, attachments, shame, violence –
by-products of living out of who we are not.
Knowing – soul knowing – these are not true definitions of who we are.
It is only in the losing of ourselves, we are found…
So it’s time again, isn’t it, Holy One?
To respond to this perennial invitation;
to open clinched fists;
to bathe in the waters of unknowing;
to free-fall into trust;
to remove suffocating masks and breath freely;
to lose ourselves.
Knowing You are the heart-holder.
Knowing You are Love on my skin and in my bones.
Knowing the paradox of
grief transformed within joy;
falling as being lifted up;
letting go as being held;
losing myself as being found;
abandoning a created-self as discovering my authentic being.
Knowing I will be found in ways I cannot fathom.
Knowing I will be loved by Love into a deeper understanding and unity…
It’s time again, Dear One, isn’t it?