The box . . .

2 12 2016

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When I was young, I was given a box.

 

I played with it;

stepped in and out of it;

became comfortable with it.

 

One day, why I do not know,

I stepped in and did not leave.

Maybe it was fear personified:

inadequacies perceived;

incompetencies feared;

self-loathing lived.

A provisional assurance held me.

A conditional certainty seduced me.

 

An unspoken deal was in the making:

Black and white walls of safety in exchange for my vision;

security if I bowed down to fear;

dogmatism for my freedom;

self-worth tethered to established compliance.

 

The cubed interior became my reality –

The world outside, too threatening;

to Fear, I bowed low.

truth encased in a box –

wearing denial and self-righteousness like they were all the rage.

 

Living off of fear’s finite energy

draining;

shifting;

exhaustible;

conditional;

narrowing;

exclusive.

 

Then, abrupt, profound pain blew in like north winds –

a deep chill, tinged with icy old wounds;

 

optic scales began to fall . . .

Who would of thought pain would be my salvation?

 

Death loosed “off-limit” questions.

My way of singularity threatened;

rips in my boxed-corners;

binary constructs crumbled;

my small truth deconstructed.

 

Emptied –

satisfactory answers elusive;

a one-sided deal broken.

 

Emptied –

Breathless.

Air expended in my limited reality –

slowly dying by Fear’s exhaled poison.

 

Emptied –

Coming to the end of everything I believed true.

Now, Truth revealed.

Now, an invitation to truly live.

 

Emptied –

Pain, joy, grief, hope co-existing –

a dualistic mind cannot contain the fullness of the heart;

Paradox’s invitation to authentic living.

 

Emptied –

Of constructed truth;

Of fear and anxiety’s paralyzing clutter;

Of a contained god;

Of me.

 

Emptied –

Space for conversation – spirit to Spirit;

between me and you.

Sacred space created.

 

Emptied –

liberated . . .

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