a query deep in the woods…

5 03 2017

little-river_rocks

I came upon a query deep in the woods. . .

deep within me –

“What is it, God, would You have me do with my life?”

I heard from among the trees a silent whisper,

“Love Me.”

 

My desire and ambition,

not trusting the Truth in the whisper,

pressed for a process –

“God. How do I love You?”

 

From the heart of the woods I heard,

“Be like that stream, there.

It just flows –

a flow that will make it to the sea some day.”

 

“Be like that rock, there.

It just is . . .

hosting life – busy ants, silent moss –

offering itself.”

 

From I AM, I breathed a resonant breath of invitation. . .

just be with Love already within

loving who I am;

loving where I am;

Loving I AM.





A photographer captured…

8 02 2017

 

cropped-mountain-sunrise.jpg

Creation gifts me –

I do not know why I deserve to be such a recipient.

From the expansive waves of Blue Ridge Mountains to

an iris’ intricate design.

Moments of Essence kiss me daily.

 

I am gifted by what I have no claim upon.

I have no commentary other than it is gift –

not to be selfishly guarded;

not to be kept in cellophane wrapping – saved for another day.

 

Still –

I desire to remain attached to these moments;

This deep beauty;

This unnamable peace;

I want this palpable Essence to linger on my tongue;

 

I want to settle here;

abide here;

build a monument;

hold onto it;

capture it.

 

So I raise my Nikon and from a 52mm sphere

I try to capture these measureless moments;

knowing, intuitively, that the “trying” is energy displaced.

Essence cannot be possessed, held on to, captured –

we cannot enslave Essence.

She is gift – ever present – woven intricately into our being.

 

Yet, I am stirred deeply –

life’s meaning whispered to me on a moment’s breath.

That oneness with the One permeates me endlessly,

my mind cannot comprehend.

 

I lower my “moment-capturing-device”,

take a deep breath,

and lean into the trust that Essence is already stirring within me –

each moment.

 

Maybe I am the one needing to be captured?





Today . . .

9 11 2016

csc_0118

Today –

when it feels like diversity wanes;

when it seems like divisiveness reigns . . .

 

Today –

when there is a Grand Canyon schism between joy and sadness;

when anger and rage lace our language . . .

 

Today –

when systems enmesh us;

when relationships are broken;

when fear simmers beneath our soul . . .

 

 

Rain falls and nourishes the earth.

Light seeps through clouds and mist.

Meadow seeds sustains a sparrow just feet away.

Music that soothed my soul yesterday, soothes it today.

And the Truth that created us from the One, is the Truth that holds us as one.

 

To breathe in Love;

to breathe out Love;

to be embraced by Love;

to embrace with Love –

this is our invitation.

It has been.

It is at this very moment.

It will be tomorrow.

dsc_0103edited

 





solemn waters

7 10 2016

 

 

ramsay-cascade-5

 

We are the flow.

We are the stones.

Beautiful together…

 

I sit beside a mountain river,

water singing over stones –

settling in . . .

Quiet, but not by ear;

aware of Presence opening me.

 

Creation becomes my teacher:

Flow – water’s perpetual movement.

Its displacement against stone

creates the chant that brings me to the threshold of peace.

Stone – obstacles, water crashing against mass . . .

Sacred abrasion.

 

The story of the flow;

the story of the stone.

Being as they are;

being where they are.

Speaking my story;

illuminating my story.

 

Living life – my flow;

acknowledging the stones:

broken relationships;

debilitating anxiety;

paralyzing fear;

devastating depression;

elevated ego;

valueless self-esteem;

accumulated loss –

my obstacles.

 

Am I creating such threshold melodies

for those who walk beside my waters?

Being as I am?

Being where I am?

Being true to my story?

 

We are the flow . . .

We are the stones . . .





Skimming Along the Surface

27 02 2015

foggy morning

Skimming along the surface of who I am;

tension balanced on that thin line between above and below…

So much energy exerted on my need to control –

trying not to sink beneath;

trying to keep my head above – just to breathe;

trying not to be wounded further;

trying to siphon off “your” approval to satisfy my needy ego –

needing “your” validation for my worthiness,

my gaze focused on earning “your” blessing;

trying to convince you of my competency;

trying not to drop my mask while shaking your hand;

trying to conform to the image I perceive you expect of me;

trying to secure my ration of love from you

or any one passing by;

trying to control you so that I may live in the illusion that I am in control…

Still not enough.

Still not good enough,

needing more – always…

Wasted energy?

From the perspective of my pre-occupied ego I would speak, “no.”

So what lurks in the depths that scares me so?

That keeps me skimming along the surface of who I am?

What discovery am I so fearful of?

That I am a vapor?

That, “I’m not lovable”, is a truth?

That I do not love myself?

What if I took a deep breath?

 Filled my lungs with the air then plunged into the depths –

exploring the world that scares me so?

 What if I risked opening my eyes?

maybe it is in the depths where I will see most clearly;

see myself most clearly…

 What if I come to know an undiscovered freedom in breathing beneath?

What if I allowed myself to sink beneath the surface

into the space where the True-self dwells –

created in Love by Love…

I skim along the surface of who I am, asking “do I risk it?”

The Kingdom is close…

Smoky Mountain Reflection





Deep desire…

20 09 2014

DSC_0531edited

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Along life’s road, what is my deep desire?

 

Power? Maybe –- the possession of control is tempting . . .

Suddenly, a breeze blows against my face –- an element I cannot rule.

maybe True Power comes with leaning into powerlessness.

 

Prestige? Sure –- I could get use to the “waited on hand and foot” life;

having doors opened for me . . .

but would I walk into the emptiness of feeding a bottomless ego?

maybe true prestige comes with washing the feet of another.

 

Wealth? Oh yes! There would be no worries surrounded by my mountain of things . . .

however this ravenous appetite becomes the master;

wanting more has the feel of addiction.

maybe true wealth is found in simplicity and letting go.

 

To be truly loved? More than one can know . . .

maybe True Love is found planted deep within  —

from the beginning . . . from the Beginning.

 

I am already loved by Love -–

I do not have to do –- I can’t do, anything about this love but receive.

 

to know deep stillness in this moment;

to have an insatiable hunger for sacred intimacy;

to lean into Love;

to have my ego diminish while True Self grows;

to have a continuous conversation –- Spirit to spirit —

this is my deep desire along this mysterious road . . .DSC_0299edited





One Breath Closer…

16 08 2014

PS Ramsey Cascades Trail

Every breath is one closer to who I will be . . .

What dreams do I then breathe in?

What pain do I hold deep within,

refusing to release anguish into the world where healing and truth dwell?

Do I breathe in air filtered through “who-others-say-I-should-be?”

through expectations, worry and fear?

Or . . .

Will I fill my being with Life’s Breath?

Life that breathed us into existence -–

Love, worthiness and wholeness the DNA of our souls?

Life that has the power of creation and creativity behind it?

 

Every breath is one closer to who I will be . . .