It’s time, isn’t it?

13 01 2019

jad_5109

It’s time, isn’t it, Dear One?

To lose myself a bit more;

my created self, that is?…

It’s time to let go.

 

I do feel grief welling up –

another end of whom I think myself to be.

It’s hard to leave a dwelling place;

where cloaked authenticity is the norm – comfortable…

but not really real.

 

Ego is afraid of losing itself, right?…

of sliding into nothingness?

The fear of possibilities is stirred, is it not?

that we might not belong;

that we might be worthless;

that we might be unlovable;

that our life is only a shadow and a whisper…a vapor;

that our life might not matter;

that we might awake to find all this to be true?

 

So we do what we can to hang on to our manufactured selves;

unwilling to risk the letting go…

of submerging ourselves in the waters of unknowing;

of free-falling into trust;

into who we might become.

 

We desperately grasp onto whatever gives identity –

praise, power, possessions.

We live a surface life.

We create an alternate self –

convincing ourselves our masks are skin and bone.

Addiction, attachments, shame, violence –

by-products of living out of who we are not.

Knowing – soul knowing – these are not true definitions of who we are.

 

It is only in the losing of ourselves, we are found…

 

So it’s time again, isn’t it, Holy One?

To respond to this perennial invitation;

to open clinched fists;

to bathe in the waters of unknowing;

to free-fall into trust;

to remove suffocating masks and breath freely;

to lose ourselves.

 

Knowing You are the heart-holder.

Knowing You are Love on my skin and in my bones.

Knowing the paradox of

grief transformed within joy;

falling as being lifted up;

letting go as being held;

losing myself as being found;

abandoning a created-self as discovering my authentic being.

Knowing I will be found in ways I cannot fathom.

Knowing I will be loved by Love into a deeper understanding and unity…

 

It’s time again, Dear One, isn’t it?


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6 responses

13 01 2019
shinetransforms

Yes, yes and yes… now and always, in every moment!

Amy Bloom Connolly, M.S. . . . bringing mindfulness to life. centerformindfulawareness.org

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Liked by 1 person

13 01 2019
gacochran

yes, Amy, perpetual…

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13 01 2019
cindyhrrn@aol.com

Dear Greg,  Thank you again for the lovely Mary Oliver day of reflections. Reading you verse over the last weeks makes me long to know that you are truly okay.  Where ever you are on  your journey, I wish you well. Blessings, Cindy  

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13 01 2019
gacochran

Hi Cindy. It’s always good to have you in the Mary Oliver program. And thanks for your well wishes. It is actually like the paradox I write about (I like paradox!), for me there is joy in the struggles…it means I’m alive!!! Be warm and safe on this snowy day!

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15 01 2019
Diana Fusting

Breattaking beautiful Greg.

Liked by 1 person

15 01 2019
gacochran

Thanks Diana.

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