my delimitative end?

Expectations conspire to confine me;

Anxieties hungry to bind me;

Fears scheme to define me.

 

Is this, then, my delimitative end?

 

Living in a system that would affirm this desuetude – spinning words dripping, sweet and savory?

 

Powerless against omnipotent exterior forces, an illusion I count as truth?

 

I am called beyond this prescriptive and self-subscribed living –

freedom within my DNA.

 

I’d rather have the Limitless be my guide…

Unchained from Expectation’s hopeless yoke;

Unbound from Anxiety’s insatiable appetite;

Undefined from Fear’s rigid borders.

But Love –

always Love…

When I was a child…

When I was a child,

I was taught to give my life away – without thought;

and I did. . .

 

For praise:

an artificial love – feeding an insatiable appetite.

For protection:

insurance against unpredictability – an illusion of control.

For survival:

subservient to rationed affection

allocated by a broken earthly deity.

 

Clawing desperately – clinging to any simulacrum of solid ground –

 

I lost myself…

 

But I am discerning…

that the cracks in my foundation are not my reprobation – but liberation;

that Light permeates the fractures in my façade –

saturating space where rationed, pseudo love imposed addiction;

that a bottomless well of Love, an oasis, exists within.

 

No need to cling to praise;

no need for controlled protection against the erratic;

no need to survive droughts of tenderness.

 

I am still giving my life away,

but now –

Life is being given in return…