When I was young, I was given a box.
I played with it;
stepped in and out of it;
became comfortable with it.
One day, why I do not know,
I stepped in and did not leave.
Maybe it was pain experienced:
A provisional assurance held me.
A conditional certainty seduced me.
An unspoken deal was in the making:
Black and white walls of safety in exchange for my vision;
security if I bowed down to fear;
dogmatism for my freedom;
self-worth tethered to established compliance.
The cubed interior became my reality –
The world outside, too threatening;
to Fear, I bowed low.
Truth encased in a box –
wearing denial and self-righteousness like they were all the rage.
Living off of fear’s energy although
Then, abrupt, profound pain blew in like north winds –
a deep chill, tinged with icy old wounds;
optic scales began to fall . . .
Who would of thought pain would be my salvation?
Death loosed “off-limit” questions.
My way of singularity threatened;
rips in my nice boxed-corners;
binary constructs crumbled;
my small truth deconstructed.
satisfactory answers elusive;
a one-sided deal broken.
Air expended in my limited reality –
slowly dying by Fear’s exhaled poison.
Coming to the end of everything I believed true.
Now, Truth revealed.
Now, an invitation to truly live.
Pain, joy, grief, hope co-existing –
a dualistic mind cannot contain the fullness of the heart;
Paradox’s invitation to authentic living.
Of constructed truth;
Of fear and anxiety’s paralyzing clutter;
Of a contained god;
Space for conversation – spirit to Spirit;
between me and you.
Sacred space created.
liberated . . .